This image represents the beautiful vastness of a grower’s field. To the average person, they drive by these fields and think ” another corn field, so what”, but I see the field come to life, yield it’s textures, hues, shadows, and light.

While most people stil have their head on the pillow, I am searching for the image that portrays the beauty of the fields and horizon. I want my image to reveal the grower’s work and expertise in caring for and maintaining the fields.

I have to chuckle a little when I see this image because it represents a great deal of preproduction and execution in securing amazing images for the client…….in 100+ degree weather………in the middle of nowhere Kentucky. Recent reviews have said ” I love the fog hovering over the crops, it’s so peacful, I bet it was gorgeous being out there.” Truth be told, at 5:15am, it has already climbed to 87 degrees and the only saving grace was the fact that we were working 40 feet in the air above the fog of doom. When we had to descend below the “yuck line”, we suffered from flash rust. You know, that instant flash of full body sweat wet that is felt in every crevice.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I will plow through anything and will do whatever it takes to get the shot. Even with this type of work ethic, I will not mince words when it comes to my distain for the dreaded 8 letter (double 4 letter dirty word), HUMIDITY. Yes, I meant to yell. Whenever I listen to the weather, the weather guessers throw out terms to describe this ugly phenomenon such as; absolute humidity, relative humidity, and specific humidity. I don’t know about you, but you can apply all the pleasant scientific terms you want to, it is still pure muck!

Each of the aforementioned terms have a lovely little formula that the meteorologists apply to the conditions so that they can stand in front of the green screen and tell us which one of the types of retched humidity it will be that day. So I decided to give you my version of those formulas.

Absolute Humidity: AH=Mw  ÷Vnet                          Hepler Version: Abominable Horrid=Muggy/ wet-logged ÷Vulgar netrochous!            

Relative Humidity: O= ew      ÷  e*w X100%             Hepler Version:   O= eew/what the÷ e*&!?% WHAT THE X100% GROSS

Specific Humidity: SH= Mv ÷Ma                                 Hepler Version: Suffocating  Hellish=Malodorous/vile÷Murderous/atrocious

There you go boys and girls of the green screen, you will get our attention loud and clear if you tell it like it is!